Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"Women We Hate"

Lists like this one baffle -- and possibly intimidate, intrigue -- The Single Guy:
Women We Hate

Helen And Rachel’s Abbrieviated List

Excerpted from the novel, Getting Rid of Matthew by Jane Fallon (Voice, August 2007)

* Women who steal other women’s husbands

* Women who put their boyfriends before their friends

* Fat women who go on about how little they eat

* Women who refer to their boyfriends as their “fella”

* Women who fish for compliments (“I look so fat today,” pause to give you time to say, “No! You’re tiny!”)

* Women who talk in little girl voices

* Women who like Bridget Jones

* Women who are like Bridget Jones

* Women who go on about how much they love shoes

* Women who bore you to death with stories about their weddings and/or babies

* Women who are still breast-feeding when their children are old enough to ask for it

* Women who wear suspenders. Or corsets. Or anything else they’ve read in one of their boyfriend’s lads’ mags is supposed to be sexy

* Women who talk about therapy

* Women who try too hard

* Mothers who work part-time and expect the whole world to revolve around their commitments (“Oh, I’ll have to change my day next week, Sam’s nursery closed for redecoration.”)

* Jennifer (neither of them could remember who Jennifer was, but they had agreed to leave her on because they must’ve had a good reason for adding her to the list once).