"That's the scary thing about women," the day fireman volunteered, putting up three fingers to ask for his draw. "Marryin' 'em is just like cuttin' the steel band on a bale of cottton. First thing you know, you've got a roomful of woman."--from "Died and Gone to Vegas" by Tim Gautreaux, collected in Same Place, Same Things (St. Martin's Press, 1996)
UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon named actor George Clooney, who has campaigned for refugees in Darfur, as a U.N. "messenger of peace" on Friday to promote the world body's peacekeeping efforts. [read on]Does this mean we'll have to re-work the poster?
"I haven’t yet found the right woman to settle down with" is another way to characterize the "one-night stand?"Have you sent [your parents] a copy of your book?
No. Not yet. I’m a little nervous about how they may react to the personal content.
Yes, you do write about an alarming number of one-night stands.
That’s kind of trashy-sounding. I would prefer to say I haven’t yet found the right woman to settle down with.
"Many married and single people in their late teens and early 20s gain a significant amount of weight — an average of 15 to 30 pounds — over five years. But newly married men and women in that age group gain 6 to 9 pounds more than their peers who are single and dating," reports USA Today.
...and travel back in time and print this The Harvard Lampoon (1972) parody?What kicked off the magazine's emergence into a more flamboyant sense of humor was the 1960 parody of the literary magazine the Saturday Review. Editors at Mademoiselle liked it so much that they asked the Lampoon staff if they wanted to do a parody of the fashion magazine's notoriously slow-selling July issue.
The idea was to take the essence of Mademoiselle - demure, fashion-conscious - and spin it. So the Lampoon editors stuck a fly on the nose of the cover model's Audrey Hepburn-like face. An ad for a svelte woman with gargantuan feet asks: "Why does she look so trim? It's her new Merrimold. It redistributes fat discreetly."
The success of that first fake issue led to requests from Mademoiselle for two more summer parody issues. Emboldened, the Lampoon guys (the magazine had an all-male staff until 1972) romped through the whole world of publishing, parodying Playboy, Time, Sports Illustrated, The New Yorker, and The New York Times over the next decade. The most memorable was the fake Cosmopolitan magazine in 1972, which featured a "centerfold" of Henry Kissinger (his head, someone else's naked body).
(Hat tip to Gawker)
... hasn't seen the show yet, but if her people call our people we can hook her up with tickets.
For Jews, tonight marks the beginning of the High Holidays — Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur — a time of year filled with joy, penitence, introspection, holiness, and … looking around.Who knew? Nu?
"Hi Guy ... just calling to see how you were doing ... haven't heard from you lately and was checking in. I'm doing fine. You said you'd let me know when you were coming back to Chicago. I had a great time with you when you were here in June, and I'd love to see you again. Give me a call sometime. OK ... bye ... Guy."If you're the woman who left this message for TSG, please call back and leave your name and phone number this time.
