"Many married and single people in their late teens and early 20s gain a significant amount of weight — an average of 15 to 30 pounds — over five years. But newly married men and women in that age group gain 6 to 9 pounds more than their peers who are single and dating," reports USA Today.
...and travel back in time and print this The Harvard Lampoon (1972) parody?What kicked off the magazine's emergence into a more flamboyant sense of humor was the 1960 parody of the literary magazine the Saturday Review. Editors at Mademoiselle liked it so much that they asked the Lampoon staff if they wanted to do a parody of the fashion magazine's notoriously slow-selling July issue.
The idea was to take the essence of Mademoiselle - demure, fashion-conscious - and spin it. So the Lampoon editors stuck a fly on the nose of the cover model's Audrey Hepburn-like face. An ad for a svelte woman with gargantuan feet asks: "Why does she look so trim? It's her new Merrimold. It redistributes fat discreetly."
The success of that first fake issue led to requests from Mademoiselle for two more summer parody issues. Emboldened, the Lampoon guys (the magazine had an all-male staff until 1972) romped through the whole world of publishing, parodying Playboy, Time, Sports Illustrated, The New Yorker, and The New York Times over the next decade. The most memorable was the fake Cosmopolitan magazine in 1972, which featured a "centerfold" of Henry Kissinger (his head, someone else's naked body).
(Hat tip to Gawker)
... hasn't seen the show yet, but if her people call our people we can hook her up with tickets.
For Jews, tonight marks the beginning of the High Holidays — Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur — a time of year filled with joy, penitence, introspection, holiness, and … looking around.Who knew? Nu?
"Hi Guy ... just calling to see how you were doing ... haven't heard from you lately and was checking in. I'm doing fine. You said you'd let me know when you were coming back to Chicago. I had a great time with you when you were here in June, and I'd love to see you again. Give me a call sometime. OK ... bye ... Guy."If you're the woman who left this message for TSG, please call back and leave your name and phone number this time.
Bait.
From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
Pronunciation: 'bAt
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old Norse beit pasturage & beita food; akin to Old English bItan to bite
1 a : something (as food) used in luring especially to a hook or trap b : a poisonous material placed where it will be eaten by harmful or objectionable animals
2 : LURE, TEMPTATION
BAIT, n.
A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
Women We Hate
Helen And Rachel’s Abbrieviated List
Excerpted from the novel, Getting Rid of Matthew by Jane Fallon (Voice, August 2007)
* Women who steal other women’s husbands
* Women who put their boyfriends before their friends
* Fat women who go on about how little they eat
* Women who refer to their boyfriends as their “fella”
* Women who fish for compliments (“I look so fat today,” pause to give you time to say, “No! You’re tiny!”)
* Women who talk in little girl voices
* Women who like Bridget Jones
* Women who are like Bridget Jones
* Women who go on about how much they love shoes
* Women who bore you to death with stories about their weddings and/or babies
* Women who are still breast-feeding when their children are old enough to ask for it
* Women who wear suspenders. Or corsets. Or anything else they’ve read in one of their boyfriend’s lads’ mags is supposed to be sexy
* Women who talk about therapy
* Women who try too hard
* Mothers who work part-time and expect the whole world to revolve around their commitments (“Oh, I’ll have to change my day next week, Sam’s nursery closed for redecoration.”)
* Jennifer (neither of them could remember who Jennifer was, but they had agreed to leave her on because they must’ve had a good reason for adding her to the list once).
"A show of cosmic proportions! In an indifferent universe, size does matter."
--Eduardo Velásquez, author of A Consumer's Guide to the Apocalypse
Born into a poor family from Birmingham, England, with the perfectly fine name of John Michael Osbourne, he's taunted at school with the name "Ozzy." He doesn't do well in school, probably due to dyslexia, and falls into the life of rock n' roll with a band called Black Sabbath.
Pronunciation: "&k-'sor-E-&s, "&g-'zor-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin uxorius uxorious, uxorial, from uxor wife
: excessively fond of or submissive to a wife
- ux·o·ri·ous·ly adverb
- ux·o·ri·ous·ness noun
UXORIOUSNESS, n.
A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
Don’t despise the domestic potato. There are a hundred appetising ways of cooking it; but unless you take it firmly in hand, it will arrive at table with the consistency of half-melted ice ... mushy without, stony within. The boiled potato is the rock on which many a happy home barque has foundered.She is talking about potatoes and not euphemistically ... right?
show is about married couples and people of marrying age who are single, so any person old enough to see the humor in those themes should enjoy the show. Anyone who failed to get the jokes and innuendo on a TV show like, say, Seinfeld, is probably too young --or too old -- to enjoy The Single Guy. It's safe for your grandmother, too ... if you have a cool granny.
Hieron II, king of Syracuse from 270 to 215 BC, and Archimedes was asked to determine whether it was of solid gold, or whether a dishonest goldsmith had mixed in a cheaper metal.
